Loading Day 2... Oh, the humanity!

8:22am

Someone please shoot me. I am SO miserable after breakfast today. I ate about half a block of fudge yesterday with my 3 beers, and I ate it right before I went to bed. Woke up, stepped on the scale, and only gained exactly 2 lbs yesterday. 2 whopping pounds. Why?! So today, although I am extremely NOT hungry and extremely NOT wanting more fats, I am going to try to match or outdo what I had yesterday.

For breakfast I've had an entire avocado, about 4 tbsp peanut butter stirred into a bowl of oatmeal, 2 good sized pieces of fudge, and 2 bags of those mini chocolate drizzle rice cake things that my roommate had sitting on the fridge. LOL. Oh yeah and I had half a steak when I first got up an hour ago. I so wanted to just eat the steak... it's amazing how nice I felt after eating nice protein as opposed to all this fat - even though I'm eating good fats (minus the fudge... lol) it's still weighing me down a lot. I feel sluggish and tired and I barely have taken a sip of my coffee.

I've never had this happen when I loaded before - I've always been able to load fine! Maybe that's what happens when your hypothalamus works though - the previous 2 times I loaded it was still 'off' quite a bit. I can't wait to get to tomorrow... I'm so tired of eating. Of course I get tired of eating on a normal day - don't get me wrong I love food (who doesn't?!) but one of the things I love about Phase 2 is you don't have to think about the food. It's set - you just eat what's allowed and you're done and you move on with your day. Too bad food doesn't work like that in the other phases!! :P


9:57am

I don't want to eat again today. *pout*

On another note - I decided to look up how many calories are in an avocado... I was thinking somewhere near 600... there's only 300 calories in an entire avocado! Damn!




12:59pm


Went to the Lift cafe for coffee and breakfast for dad... I got a latte - should have gotten half and half but I went with nonfat because that's really the only milk I like in my lattes - otherwise it just doesn't taste right! I also got a little breakfast taco with sausage and cheese. It would have tasted better - rephrase that: it would have tasted GOOD, like REALLY good - if I hadn't been stuffed from yesterday and this morning still. Went to Mozart's after that to sit and watch the lake, and got a coffee with some cream... I'm still working on it now that we're back at the apartment... it's hard to drink it. Bleeeeh. Tried to eat some almonds and kinda munched but felt like crap so I only ate 3 or 4. I just generally feel like crap. I can't believe how hard this is - it was so easy last time! I just keep telling myself "it's almost over, it's almost over". I can't wait to get this feeling off - forget the weight, I'm sick of feeling like doodoo.


4:05pm

Ohhhhh man. Went and had a burger with fries and a banana shake before dad left from a little organic burger place near my apartment. I haven't had a milkshake in years - since I was 17 I think - and I've only had 2 burgers since then, too. This should have been the delicious explosion of yummness that I detected it was, but instead I had to force it down. I don't know how much I will have gained by tomorrow but it better be good after this! Haha.


6:46pm

I can barely drink this iced tea.

My fingers are swollen.

My brain isn't working.

I kindof feel stoned?